seasons greetings
+5
cyfrifia
Poppyanna555
Dalelad
Hinch
hovis
9 posters
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seasons greetings
Before l get bogged down with family turkey and wrapping paper l want to wish you all a very happy and peaceful Christmas and hope that the New Year is good to you.
I have to admit Christmas is my favourite time of the year, so l hope you will forgive me saying its here at last yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
I have to admit Christmas is my favourite time of the year, so l hope you will forgive me saying its here at last yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
hovis- Crew
- Posts : 50
Join date : 2012-09-09
Re: seasons greetings
And to you and Mr Hovis.
Hinch- Spaceship Commander
- Posts : 1927
Join date : 2012-09-05
Location : Stradhoughton
Re: seasons greetings
All the best to everyone on here as well from me and Mrs DL.
I'm certainly looking forward to this next week off work. Could do with doing some relaxing.
I'm certainly looking forward to this next week off work. Could do with doing some relaxing.
Dalelad- Admin
- Posts : 345
Join date : 2012-09-05
Age : 59
Re: seasons greetings
Happy Christmas everyone!
Poppyanna555- Officer of the Watch
- Posts : 548
Join date : 2012-09-05
Age : 74
Location : ROCHDALE
Re: seasons greetings
Happy Christmas.
cyfrifia- Time Lord
- Posts : 3139
Join date : 2012-09-16
Location : Todmorden
Re: seasons greetings
A Politically Correct Christmas
~
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the Unions to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And Equal Employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the cops,
when they heard sledge noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened
and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".
To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to trial, in front of the nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.
So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
joined a self-help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.
And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the Left or the Right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on Earth."
~
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the Unions to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And Equal Employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the cops,
when they heard sledge noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened
and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".
To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to trial, in front of the nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.
So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
joined a self-help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.
And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the Left or the Right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on Earth."
Guest- Guest
Re: seasons greetings
For interest, there are mythologies for the northlands that present elves as tall and very undesirable - look up 'Lords and Ladies'.
johnb- Space Cadet
- Posts : 483
Join date : 2012-09-05
Location : Rochdale
Re: seasons greetings
I know what you mean johnb. Today I had to remove one such 'beast' from behind the grotto and lead him off into the woods before the kids discovered him. That buffoon of a Santa had let him get at the 'medical' cupboard and the 'medicinal' alcohol therein. Cretin. You really CANNOT get the volunteers these days - not sane ones anyway! Hey-ho. And a B' Merry Xmas to you to -!
Atlas- Time Lord
- Posts : 3032
Join date : 2012-09-06
Location : Wales
Re: seasons greetings
Happy Christmas to all you regular posters.
Thanks for all the entertainment you've given me (and others) over the year.
Long may you continue!
Thanks for all the entertainment you've given me (and others) over the year.
Long may you continue!
bluerose- Posts : 2
Join date : 2012-09-08
Re: seasons greetings
Welcome to the forum Bluerose. You must have been one of the Watching Ones that Admin refers to.
Hinch- Spaceship Commander
- Posts : 1927
Join date : 2012-09-05
Location : Stradhoughton
Re: seasons greetings
Happy Christmas to everyone hope you have a good day and a Happy New Year
Jeanie- Officer of the Watch
- Posts : 908
Join date : 2012-09-05
Location : Smallbridge Rochdale
Re: seasons greetings
Welcome Bluerose. It's good to see some new blood (even if it is blue) on board. Look forward to your input.
Atlas- Time Lord
- Posts : 3032
Join date : 2012-09-06
Location : Wales
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