Another Joke for a Friday Night.

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Another Joke for a Friday Night.

Post  teamplayer2 on Fri Jan 08, 2016 9:43 pm



Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day.

One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there.'

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.'

Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

A few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.'

'Who is it?' asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?'

'Barb -- it's me, Rose.'

'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'

'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice.

'Rose! Where are you?'

'In Heaven,'
replied Rose. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.'
'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb.

'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's softball in Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.'

'That's fantastic,' said Barb. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?'

'You're pitching Tuesday.'






































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Re: Another Joke for a Friday Night.

Post  Atlas on Sat Jan 09, 2016 2:16 pm

OOOOooo! Bet that hurt. Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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Floods and Insurance

Post  cyfrifia on Mon Jan 11, 2016 11:12 pm

Not sure if this is a joke really, but then it's only monday evening.

In the floods, many houses and businesses were uninsured or uninsurable, people have lost a lot.

The insurance office in Hebden was flooded, and their offices were uninsured.

http://www.todmordennews.co.uk/news/local/insurance-worries-for-calder-valley-1-7660194

Razz Har har har, is it a joke or a tragedy?

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Re: Another Joke for a Friday Night.

Post  Atlas on Wed Jan 13, 2016 4:39 pm

Neither. Any business needs to carry 'vital' insurance. Flood damage isn't considered vital - but - if the property is 'prone' to such occurrences it comes as no surprise that they cannot get the 'right' insurance cover. Like many others they will have to take steps to mitigate the worst scenarios and 'battle' on. From the press release it appears they have done as much as possible by way of 'moving' stuff up a level. What they need to do now (if they own the property) is 'tank' the ground floor and move all electrics up to head hight and have easy removable furnitures in readiness for the 'next' time. It's not rocket science. But it is 'nature' - and her you will never beat.Shocked Shocked Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes

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Re: Another Joke for a Friday Night.

Post  cyfrifia on Thu Jan 14, 2016 9:19 am

It's a matter of living with nature, and how best to do that. It takes some organising.

In the case of Hebdenbridge flooding, government grants to drain the moors above the town for grouse shooting increased the speed of water running off. There is a general lack of interest in preserving the peat moorland that soaks up so much water and releases it gradually. People still mistakenly think that moorland fires during the summer destroying upland peat are somehow useful or traditional.

The Environment Agency tend to do a lot of talking, consulting and spending money, all well and good, but not good enough, people tended to trust and hope flood defences would work.

Simple clearing of road drains and the many small waterways and culverts around towns like Hebdenbridge would seem a basic, it's impressive how thoroughly and consistently this isn't done, year after year.

Government negotations with the insurance companies to provide some insurance cover for flood prone property have been under way for some years now.

Flooding needs a bit of a re-think. Those who may care to think about it might do so rather more effectively from a deckchair in Barbados.

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Re: Another Joke for a Friday Night.

Post  Atlas on Fri Jan 15, 2016 2:29 pm

Our deck-chair lounging lizard was only ever interested in the £100k salary he received for his 3 day a week job. He was of the fat-cat fraternity - of water and floods he knew rock-all. Never did. Admin creep of the worst order. He won't suffer. His kind never do. I have more respect for the wild cats in my garden. At least they have to work for their living. The sooner mankind learns that such amongst us are of a negative value the better it will be for the majority. End of: Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes

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Re: Another Joke for a Friday Night.

Post  cyfrifia on Sat Jan 16, 2016 12:55 pm

The public are accustomed to highly paid failure that damages people's lives, preferably other people's lives, but do demand more imaginative and entertaining cover-stories.

Being 'at home' in Barbados just wasn't properly thought through as misleading information, he had to go. We may get now someone with more convincing stories, "The dog ate my drainage diagram", or similar.

An imaginative tale about being in Barbados to buy up a beach for sandbags and bringing it back in a bannana boat could have saved his career. He just wasn't trying hard enough.

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Re: Another Joke for a Friday Night.

Post  Atlas on Sat Jan 16, 2016 2:15 pm

He was very trying. That was the problem. Figureheads have lost their value in this day and age. In the past, when everything was in private hands (not this pseudo privatisation we have now) a man of stature and influence worked well for any company that was building its way to the top. These weak facsimiles of today are a joke and just another way of the rich fat-cats to prolong their useless detrimental (to the good of the public) existence. The sooner these practices cease the better it will be for everyone. Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes

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Re: Another Joke for a Friday Night.

Post  cyfrifia on Sun Feb 07, 2016 10:43 pm

Quick, tell us another joke, Teamplayer, The people of Rochdale desperately need cheering up.

http://www.rochdaleonline.co.uk/news-features/2/news-headlines/100840/why-are-heywood-rochdale-and-middleton-the-third-unhappiest-places-in-england

geek Sad

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Re: Another Joke for a Friday Night.

Post  Atlas on Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:10 pm

In the May elections Rochdale voters elected all Conservative councillors to represent them. It is thought that it is a prelude to the voting in of a Conservative MP at the next General Election in order that the 'town' may at last be recognised as a part of the U.K. and be eligible for proper adequate funding for a brighter new future. Very Happy Very Happy Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz Razz

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