Handyman needed

I need a handyman who is not going to take the mickey when it comes to doing bits of jobs.
Anyone out there know someone reliable and charges a fair price?
I want an outside tap fitted, seems a straitforward job through the wall from sink unit, I have already bought the tap

Would have fitted it for you, but as you may or may not have heard I've had my other Knee done.
Been nothing but trouble since I had it done on the 17th last Month, if you can hang on a few Weeks I'll do it for you.

I advertised for a handyman once. I needed a bit of plumbing work done, some shelves putting up and some new power sockets etc.

So this chap turns up at the door and seems nice enough. I asked him about the plumbing as I wanted a new shower fitted.

"I'm not really any good at plumbing to be honest. "he said.

"What about she shelves. That's easy enough?" I asked.

"Not really." he replied. "I'm a bit useless at that sort of stuff,"

I persevered. "Ok then. Let's just leave it at power-sockets then. I want two new ones putting in the living room."

He was looking really embarrassed at this stage. "Afraid I don't know anything about electricity." he replied.

I was really fed-up by this time. "Look, I advertised for a bloody handyman but you can't do anything it seems to me. Tell me, what's handy about you?"

He looked at me sheepishly and said, "I only live round the corner."

The old ones are the best.

Reminds me of when I went to sign up at the gym, the woman who took all my details said 'when you come wear some loose clothes' I said 'If I had any loose clothes I wouldn't need to come here!'