Funniest Thing I have read in a long while!!

I put this in the jokes section, but noone read it, and it is sooooo funny!!


THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN. SOOOO FUNNY!!!:

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect!

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So funny shared it with my Facebook friends

Yes it was so funny, what a picture to visualise

I have too shared it with friends by email and facebook

What a laugh, excellent

southernbelle wrote:
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN. SOOOO FUNNY!!!:

Southernbelle - Lady Fifi, Ma'am: W H Y are you reading the customer reviews about Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream

This subject led to a warning feature in a National paper in the summer, when the issues apparently peaked. As stated on the tubes, it was never intended for that anatomical region.

Superb post!

Mojo Hill wrote:

southernbelle wrote:
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN. SOOOO FUNNY!!!:

Southernbelle - Lady Fifi, Ma'am: W H Y are you reading the customer reviews about Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream

This subject led to a warning feature in a National paper in the summer, when the issues apparently peaked. As stated on the tubes, it was never intended for that anatomical region.

I couldnt possibly answer that question MH, at least not without giving away secrets that other members might not wish to become public knowledge. Suffice to say that it was a research based activity.

I read these reviews on Amazon a while ago - there are pages and pages of them, all in the same vein. Cried laughing for ages. Go have a look.

sad man!....but so funny.

hinch wrote:What a laugh. Somehow, I don't think SB's post would have lasted long on the RO forums.

Reminds me of the time back in the 60's. I was about 16 and going out on a hot date. I wanted to look and smell presentable. I splashed my face with Old Spice and then thought a quick splash of down the old Y-fronts might not go amiss.

God in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a mistake that no man makes twice. The pain was immediate and unbelievable. I certainly did my own special tribute to Johnnie Cash's 'Ring of Fire' that night!

What was I thinking of????

think we all know what you were thinking of

hinch wrote:What a laugh. Somehow, I don't think SB's post would have lasted long on the RO forums.

Reminds me of the time back in the 60's. I was about 16 and going out on a hot date. I wanted to look and smell presentable. I splashed my face with Old Spice and then thought a quick splash of down the old Y-fronts might not go amiss.

God in Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a mistake that no man makes twice. The pain was immediate and unbelievable. I certainly did my own special tribute to Johnnie Cash's 'Ring of Fire' that night!

What was I thinking of????

I think Hich you might find we have all done it - in various permutations. As for thinking - come on man which teenager of the male gender actualy 'thinks' (by using his brain) when on the 'hunt'? Physical and mental impossibility. I know. I was there.