Happy Holidays?

The Foreign Office has updated it's advice to those thinking of travelling abroad,
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/update-to-travel-advice-on-the-global-threat-from-terrorism
Almost every country you might once have thought of for a holiday now has some level of warning on it, starting with Calais, where a lot of migrants refuse to apply for asylum in France, but are desperate to get to the UK.

The lady Mayor of Calais talked over the problem with UK politicians recently,
http://www.parliamentlive.tv/Main/Player.aspx?meetingId=16264
explaining that the migrant population at Calais "has changed now, it's much more violent, and they are harassing the people of Calais, there are a lot of mafia and traffikers."

UK Foreign Office advice for UK citizens travelling through Calais is to keep vehicle doors locked in slow moving traffic, and that once you get into France, there is a high level threat from terrorism and attacks could be indiscriminate.
https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/france

Greece doesn't look too bad with a general warning of strikes, disruption, terrorism and political violence.
https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/greece

Turkey a bit more problematic, advice against visiting large areas of the country at all, otherwise remain vigilant and avoid areas where demonstrations are taking place.
https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/turkey

Further afield, low threat of terrorism in Mexico but take particular care to avoid being caught up in drug related violence between criminal groups
https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/mexico

The world doesn't seem to be getting any easier, would a winter holiday at Skegness be more relaxing, Bridlington perhaps? Just as well we can't afford foreign holidays, they seem to be going out of fashion anyway.

Wales this summer then is it?

Er - perhaps best avoid entering via the Severn Bridge. You might need to take out a mortgage first.
And - er - If coming the other way best learn a few words of Welsh to fool the natives - otherwise you might get ripped off with the new taxes. (There aren't any - but beware the smooth talk).
Bring a 'mac'.
Fill up with petrol at city pumps only.
Avoid areas of high concentration of holidaymakers. Costs an absolute bomb.
Come out of season or pay for one cottage and bring three families and a load of camp beds.
Avoid any 'Pay to Play'.
Otherwise - have a good time and keep smiling.

Some people I know have gone on holiday to Bali. Haven't heard news of them since. The Bali tourist office says it's safe. Mount Agung volcano there is rumbling and shaking. Last time it erupted in 1963, it killed a thousand people. There is only one airport, it might close if there is a cloud of ash. Tourists who overstay are fined for every day they overstay. Holidays can be a lot of bother really.

If they have been advised to leave - (and there's a lot advising we should all leave at the moment) then they should up sticks and flee - immediately. That's always and providing they want to go on holiday again sometime.

No news about our happy holidaymakers, the volcano continues to rumble and shake. Bali authorities are telling natives that have fled to go back again, and tourists to keep coming, except for within a few miles of the volcano.

Wherever you might go on holiday there is a potential downside. If it's not a volcano it's something else. Winter holidays in the UK could be ok, except that we are always surprised when it gets cold and snows during the winter, completely unprepared by way of transport and everything else. We can't even properly house the population in the summertime.

What's the best winter holiday location for Brits nowadays? I have heard tell of people recently surviving a holiday in Cape Verde, despite official warnings about crime.

You're asking the wrong person. I don't do 'holidays' at all. I live in a holiday place and have done for the last 35 years. I send the wife away as often as possible. Safe places like Syria, Africa and Korea. But she keeps coming back. Ergo - You picks your spot and you takes your chances -.

Ms Pretty Patel keeps busy with her holidays, but not so keen on sharing her holiday photos.

If actually sent on a covert mission camouflaged by a 'holiday' - then fine. If not - then she should be sacked immediately. Loose cannons are a bloody mess in the middle of a battle. End of -.

Secretaries of State for International Development do tend to get a bit above themselves. Only to be expected, as they travel round the world, landing on red carpets and giving away (our) money.

The lady was scapegoated. Probably an intelligence mission that was discovered by the journalist. Not unusual practice by governments.

There may be some intelligence involved, if there is, it's effectively concealed beneath a convincing appearance of carelessness incompetence.

The Intelligence Services use all kinds of intermediaries to do their bidding. Avowed no-knowledge scenarios if 'things' go wrong. It is inconceivable that meetings with Israeli PM and other officials wasn't prepared well in advance and a given 'known' to Mossad and others. It's the chance you take when agreeing to do the 'States' bidding for altruistic motive - or otherwise. It won't do the lady any lasting harm in the greater scale of things. In fact 'probably' quite the contrary.

Probably not, our politicians seem to thrive on drama and comedy, like a soap opera where characters get killed off then re-appear by popular demand.

Little Miss 'Pretty' Patel is no Mata Hari - not that she was ever admit she was trying to be - but she is now tainted goods. In which case she should now change her tack towards some other less 'obvious' method of subterfuge.

Mata Hari? No, I don't think any Japanese ritual is involved.

Yea.